Official

Well people I think that is all. Offically DONE. Got into pharmacy school, finished all my tests.
A goal that I had for the past two years has been accomplished. I feel so blah. I have more goals now to get all areas of life handled. I feel nervous and anxious about pursuing them, its like the butterflies. I'm excited to see myself accomplish something.

Just 3 more Days

I haven't done much all morning, just preparing myself for these last couple tests. One thing I've noticed about myself is that I am COMPLETELY obsessed with thinking about the future, constantly fantasizing about future plans and actions and then I think of the "the power of now". I didn't finish reading the whole thing but I read most of it and I lost Think and Grow Rich. Always thinking about the future does take away from what I need to get done in school now. Makes me wonder, what I'm obsessing over maybe that should be my future and its just another sign that what I'm doing now is NOT doing it for me. But in 3 more days I will be on a MASSIVE ACTION rampage.

Final Stretch!

APRIL 30: No mo classes

May 9: No mo Finals

Ego?

A book that came highly recommended through the Real Social Dynamics forum was The Power Of Now, by Tolle. I started reading this book on the train and I'm about a third of the way through it.
Tolle mentions that the ego is separate from who we really are, this reminds me of TD's article about "The Self Coming Through" on (realsocialdynamics.blogspot.com). That the ego feeds off validation and being in state, pushing buttons for reactions out of people.

Long story short, Td's article and the Power of now helped me step outside my emotions and analyze myself and now I feel good pretty fine ab0ut it.

The book was blah some really new agey crap, but some of it does make sense and it clicks a bit. A lot of negative emotions and positive ones just come from your pride or ego being boosted or taken down but its dependant on what OTHER people think, that parts kinda fucked up, I dont want how I feel to be dictated by other people.

Fuck Work!

Now that I got accepted into pharmacy school I started to envision my future. What the hell is it going to look like? # 1 Thing that I do not want is to be working behind a counter or in some factory checking labels and going over medicine. Research could be interesting but does NOT insire or motivate me.
If my the main reason I want to do pharmacy is because of an easy job, with good money. But that's only relative to an average person. SO thinking about this in and out for awhile but coming to no real conclusion except reading a couple of books:

Rich Dad Poor Dad and The Millionaire Mind. I'd put up links to check it out on amazon but I do not know how. Decent reads worth checking out a bit. The answer has been to create real wealth and money you have to create something or invest, real estate, stock, bonds, and being apart of your own business.

Steve Pavlina has an awesomely interesting article on this.
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/07/10-reasons-you-should-never-get-a-job/
Makes a lot of sense and I'm young its still early!
But what the fuck to do??
Pharmacy...something I'm doing because I really don't know what else to do with myself. This must be the trap that some of my close friends have fallen into except they don't know what to do with themselves so they do nothing at all really.
I'm going to Listen to the Podcast links he puts up in the article. This shit needs to be figured out, fuck that cage!

Pharmacy School!!

um I'm in bitches!!!!

ok But they didn't send anything out yet so I can't go around school telling people, but its fuckin awesome, and I'm gonna get some extra $ because my pcat score was high.
Now Just have to pass Physics so it doesn't screw me in the ass.

Something interesting to me came up, one of my friends said he was talking about me to my other friends, that everything I do is planned out lol, and has hidden motive I geuss. I suppose theres some truth to that but I still think its hilarious. I knew I was talking to much about pick-up shit, and I have felt like I've been talking to them too much, too often but they;re awesome no doubt

Edit: Shit is official, I just got the letter in the mail.!

Studied physics all day yesterday, hopefully its looking good.

Garsh

Ate terrible food alll day and some today already, not good. Lesson Learned.

Last night some karaoke at Dex's. . Ended up being an alright night, but nothing too exciting so I tried making up my own damn fun as usual...NOSE RAPING! hahaha

Two girls told me I talk like a teacher... that's not the coolest so I dunno, kinda funny.

Spring Break!

Well I did fail that test but I can still pass the class, I'm not completely screwed. yes!
Officially on spring break, No plans some studying to get done.

I have been eating better the past few days, I'm figuring out a 6 meals a day plan. Did morning cardio twice this week and Doing some lifting today. I'm making progress

My social life is ehh so-so not really, became a myspace addict. went on a double date got the worst end....by far, I'm a husky guy this chick was one of the fat ones.

I'm really happy for my buddy got his hook up on with a cute blonde girl.

If any of y'all watch The Hills, mtv reality drama ha there's some friend hookin up with someone your friend hooked/hooks up with drama. So that was the newest episode and two of my friends from seperate social circles are going through similiar drama. The Hills!

DAMN!

I messed up on a big ass test yesterday. Failed so bad I might not even be able to pass the class, but won't know for sure until next week. Man I was distracted, thinking about the party that happened on last sat and pharmacy school and my future.

I never really got what people meant when they say just to be "in the moment", I'm really feeling that now. When talking to people and getting things done you just need to be there focusing on what you need to do now.

Well it was a WAKE UP call. I am now focused on what I need to do. I will not be distracted. My focus is on MY goals.
I feel better already, but I am having a hard time studying.

Listened to some Tony Robbins, about the Finding your purpose in life part, I am really trying to figure that out. I'm still not sure about it but I want to do this exercise I heard off of http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/. Really awesome site I want to take a better look at it when I have time. But the thing is to write down what you think your purpose is but you keep on writing and revising and rewriting for how ever long it takes until you eventually write down something that makes you cry. I can't even imagine myself really crying. Sometimes I feel so lost and then the next day I could feel so driven . I dunno , thats the worst ever Im attempting to take that out of my vocabulary that whole "I dunno" phrase.

OK well I'm gonna be finding out in a couple of weeks if I got into Temple's pharmacy school and worst come to worst if I fail this class I'll retake it in the summer. BOO thatd be 6 extra bust assing weeks and 1300$ I don't wanna spend.

Weekend plan- Study, Plan Meals, Plan workouts, Study. Figure out more financial Aid.

I am NOT going out this weekend. I am focusing this weekend on MYSELF. I am turning my phone off right NOW and just wait for 300 to come out in two weeks!

Busy busy busy

Interview tomorrow morning, real deal here fellas I'm ready!
My friend turned 18 on Valentines! n had all is people come together for the big throw down on sat night. Goooood time, met all his people his school and He is gonna be coming to Temple next year so awesome
Nothing really happened for me at the party I got drunk, never said that before but I know last night I was out of it.

BIG test on thursday, Tried to study today but I didnt do shit, ahh what happened to me, lol I just got addicted to myspace n facebook this past week, I can totally see how that happens now
I think I'm being "validation seeking" and when you get comments n wat not it's like feeding the ego and its on display for everyone to see makes ya feel good. Just fuck that stuff its about CORE CONFIDENCE, tylerdurden writings are awesome I cannot wait for his book

I ate so Much I can Barely breathe

Uhg I'm totally stuffed right now and I haven't worked out in almost two weeks. I'm having a hard time concentrating on everything.

Well I stopped by the mall for a bit today, didn't do any approaches although there was at least a few sets I could have at least opened.
I'm in line at this store and this kid in front of me starts talking, he has an english accent from london. This chick next to him starts getting soo into him. the whole "Wow thats so awesome you're from London, What's your name??," The guy seemed so not cool with it, and he was almost mumbling, and said he felt "embarrassed" then the girl just says "oh there girls in London aren't like this" blah blah blah
I never really thought that being from a foreign country n talking different would really change anything. So my friend and I thought about going upto chicks with some kind of fake accent and make up that were from some random country, just to see if we could get a result like that. Haven't tried it yet, but Im dying to for shits n giggles. My accent needs a bit of work lol I have a feeling this whole thing could be hilarious

And I just bought a whole outfit for my interview and Im going to schedule it tomorrow.

SuperBowl

I am so glad I didn't decide to bet on the superbow, I sooo wouldve taken the bears but in the playoffs I've never been so off in my picks. then with college basketball my whole betting bankroll...GONE. Prettty much broke and I'm kinda looking for a job. But at the same time I don't want any excuses if I don't do well in School. I think I'm totally capable of doing both but I'm holding back.

I ate so much junk shit this week I think I just gained back a few pounds, plus didn't work out AT ALL. I have excuses for that too but not really good ones. I trying to make my mom buy a treadmill for my house.

I'm still really confused about a few things like whether or not to live on campus, and if I did where would I live. I need a good flow chart or somethin to think it through haha.
Everytime I talk to any girls I'm like damn I wish I lived around campus so I could be talkin to these chicks all the time and relax a bit. And having the whole convenience of not takin the f-ing train everyday. ok-ok enough of this
FIRST-Must get into Pharmacy School, I get so caught up in dreaming up the future I totally lost myself in the present. Past few days Ive been telling myself "Just be In this moment, just think about now." like when I go to talk to anybody when I think of what I'm going to say ahead of time and I go say it, it comes off SOO wrong. Its in my voice my body language it feels so unnatural when shit comes out pre-planned.

ok I want to write more but gotta get some work done for tomorrow

YES!

I just got a phone call from my mother telling me the lady at the pharmacy school just called her and told her I AM getting an interview. Its the only pharmacy school I've applied to so everything MUST go well. I feel really excited and like I have a new thing to prepare for. Man so many kids started off doing this pre-pharmacy thing y freshman year but I don't see ANY of them coming with me except one girl out of the hundreds of kids that started off with this. Like I would be entering pharmacy school at 19 Id for sure be the youngest one there.

So I got into a car accident and dont have it back. I feel awful mainyl b/c I haven't worked out this whole past week. Man I must reach my goals losing 1-3 lbs/week.

I'm listening to The Foundation cd's and they're pretty good, I feel like I'm understanding what he's saying and just been hearing them on the train rides.

Tomorrow Night-SUPERBOWL PAAARRTY

Just read an article that really got my attention

AMMAN, Jordan - A Jordanian man fatally shot his 17-year-old daughter whom he suspected of having sex despite a medical exam that proved her chastity, an official said Thursday. The man surrendered to police hours after the killing, saying he had done it for family honor.

A state forensic pathologist, who works at the National Institute of Forensic Medicine in Amman where an autopsy was performed, said in a phone interview that the girl had run away from home several times for unknown reasons.

Weeks ago, the girl had returned home from a family protection clinic after doctors had vouched for her virginity and the father had signed a pledge not to harm her, the pathologist said on condition of anonymity due to the sensitive nature of the case.

"The tests proved that she was a virgin," the pathologist said. The girl returned home only after her father signed a statement promising not to harm her, he added.

The father shot the girl four times in the head on Tuesday. On Wednesday, an autopsy was performed that again showed "she was still a virgin," the pathologist said.

Authorities have not disclosed the names of the father or the daughter or even their hometown, saying only that they lived in a southern province.

The crime is the first "honor killing" this year in Jordan, where many men consider sex out of wedlock to be an almost indelible stain on a family's reputation. On average, about 20 women in the country are killed by their relatives in such cases each year. Women have been killed for simply dating.

Global human rights organizations have condemned such killings and appealed to King Abdullah II to put an end to them.

In response, the government has abolished a section in the penal code that allowed for "honor" killers to get sentences as lenient as six months in prison. Instead, the government has told judges to consider honor killings on a par with other homicides, which in Jordan are punishable by up to 15 years in jail.

But attempts to introduce harsher sentences have been blocked by conservative lawmakers who argue that tougher penalties would lead to promiscuity.

Queen Rania also has called for harsher punishment for such killers.

This shit is just ridiculous, whatever the dad is crazy , but some of the legislature. They didnt want to have severe punishments for killing people b/c it might encourage sex?? that s o FUCKING disturbing

Hey

well Back at school, started back up last week.

Break was good, not as fulfulling as I wanted it to be. I did do some approaching. Went out to the old city area a couple of times. I haven't kept a direct count but nothing came of it but it was fun as hell. I met this chicks boyfriend. Didn't realize she was with these guys but it went alright.
She just said to me "Oh this is my boyfriend hes CRAZY "
lol he's just some little asian dude

I read some of Tyler Durden's post over at realsocialdynamics.blogspot.com some interestings thoughts the guy really articulates things well. The way his writing is it kind of sucks me in.

Speaking of $, I need some. Haven't had a job since summer, got by with spending $ from gambling. I'm using topratedcappers.com right now for NCAA b-ball try to make some extra dough and applied for a job at Express b/c I buy so much stuff from there anyway.

I'm going to be hitting the gym up today, I have not kept up and just maintained my weight at about 230lbs. I started carrying around a piece of paper with some of the goals I wanted.
One of them being getting in shape in the next 12 weeks. The thought has defintley helped me out this past week.

Within the next two weeks I should be getting some kind of notice from Temple's pharmacy school, I SHOULD get an interview.

I'm gonna be posting more def